Love is All You Need
by FuzziFuruba
Summary: A cliche about James and Lily. Wait no... A very good cliche full of humour and RANDOMNESS!  Val Chan
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: I don't own HARRY POTTER characters.. If I did I wouldn't be writing this story. Instead I would be happily rolling around in money and eating cake.

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Chapter 1

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"Evans will you go out with me?" asked James slyly just as they were exiting potions.

"Hrmm... Over the past 3 years Potter what have I said?"

"Potter, you are the most stunning, handsome, perfect and uttermost hottest, sexiest spunk I have ever seen!"

"Go to hell Potter!"

Though as she turned away she regretted it at once, James had broken into song.

"Evans, you're breaking my heart! Breaking my heart and then putting it in front of a stampede of hungry children! You're breaking my heart as if you just burned it with a jinx! Snapped it in two and then boiled it in a cauldron of hate!"

"You're making a scene Potter!" barked Lily. Though Lily wasn't that surprised. James always did this when she went out with a guy or she rejected him or if he just wanted to make a scene. Though when ever he sang he always changed the lyrics and the tune. Though she must say, James was quiet a good singer even if his head was twice as large as his body.

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"Padfoot!" exclaimed James "We're going to The Three Broomsticks! Go get Moony and Wormtail"

"You started to sing again didn't you?" sighed Sirius who was lounging on the couch. Sirius knew perfectly what James did when Lily dumped him. Sing and then get trashed. It was practically a tradition now. He pulled out a piece of parchment and pointed his wand at it muttering "I solemnly swear I am up to no good." Then he pointed to the dot that was marked Remus Lupin with his wand and said to it "Go get Wormtail we're going drinking once again."

Lupin and Wormtail was waiting around the Whomping Willow, when Sirius and James prodded him hard underneath in the back of the knee cause him to topple onto Peter. "Let's go before someone comes." whispered Wormtail.

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Lily came down the girls' dormitory stairs at 4am in the morning hoping she could sneak into the library to do some extra reading on how to repel certain people(coughPottercough), when the portrait hole burst open and 4 boys clambered in. It definitely wasn't the most graceful thing she had seen. James staggered in and collapsed on the floor while Lupin and Wormtail was clutching the unconscious body of Sirius.

"Oh Lily!" whispered Lupin. "Could you please look after James for a bit? He's had a hard night..."

"So it seems" said Lily. She was disgusted at James. Well not disgusted... Just... She gave him a disapproving stare which he couldn't see because he started to snore. Well what else could she do...? He was still on the floor drunk as a skunk... Lupin heaved James onto the couch next to Lily and then helped Wormtail lift Sirius up the stairs into their dormitory.

"Ummm... James? Are you ok?" asked Lily.

She didn't know why she was asking him this... This boy had tortured her for years until he met Snape. Which until their 5th year would have mattered to her. James snored even louder and rolled onto Lily's lap. Aww! He looks so cute when he's sleeping. Lily bent down to kiss James but as soon as her lips touched his he woke up.

_SHIT! What on earth had she been doing! Damn hormones!_

"HA! Evans! I knew you had a thing for-" James had conked out again.

"_I hope he's drunk enough not to remember this tomorrow"_ thought Lily.


	2. Chapter 2

DISCLAIMER: No matter how much I wished that I owned the HP characters (especially Ron and Sirius) but I do not. Though I did I would have sold them to Disney, not Warnerbros because Disney would probably make a better movie!!! (5th movie fireworks were AWESOME!!!) I would also try

Chapter 2

Lily yawned as she had just woke up and now she was wondering why she felt so miserable but she couldn't remember (despite how smart she was), so she just got dressed and stomped down to the Great Hall for breakfast. As she was walking towards her house table her miserable gauge sky rocketed. "Oh crap" Thought Lily as she saw a boy with black unruly glasses (James… DUH). Remembering why she felt like crap Lily stared at James for a minute and thought _"Who cares if he remembers? I'll just tell everyone he was so drunk he must have been having hallucinations." _As bravely as she could Lily strode up to the Gryffindor table and sat opposite James.

"Well, what a nice candlelit dinner we're having Evans" James mumbled. "Just because you have a hang-over!" retorted Lily. "Wha-? How did you know…? REMUS!! What did you tell her?" questioned James. Lily could tell that something wasn't right. "Nothing at all" replied Remus. "POTTER I'M GONNA KILL YOU" screamed a voice which was thought to be miles away. "Stuck Padfoot's head to his bed as a joke with a permanent sticking charm" chortled James. "Well we have charms next" sighed Lily "I'll come with you Evans" offered James. So they both set off for class together.

"Ok, why didn't you tell anyone!" asked Lily.

"Tell anyone what?" inquired James

"That I kissed you!" shouted Lily

"Oh well Evans, that was hardly a kiss! If you call that a kiss I'm going to have to think twice about dating you. I thought that you fell onto me or something." James paused for a few seconds obviously think then said "If you, in your way kissed me that means…"

"If you think I like you your wrong!" exclaimed Lily "I-I-I wanted to tease you that was all!"

"Erm… How was that teasing Evans? You kissed me. Kisses are supposed to show your love for one another!"

"I-I-I"

"I'll show you my love for you Evans" As he took her hand and led her into a broom closet.

Lily's POV

_Oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap. _Thought Lily _I'm stuck inside a broom cupboard with Potter. Stupid horny Potter. Stupid Stupid Stupid. WHAT THE HELL!?!?! What is he doing? Why is his mouth touching mine?!?! AHH!!!!! No now he's tongue is trying to get into my mouth!!!!_

James' POV

_Hurrah! Evan's has feelings for me! Now I can shag her! YAY!_

Just as soon as James had finally broken the gates to Lily's mouth Filch opened the door. "Oh crap" said James. "Oh crap that is right Mr Potter! HA! Finally I can get you expelled! Raping another student! And don't bother to tell me that she wanted to snog you Potter. Everyone knows that Evan's despises you." cackled Filch. "To Dumbledore's office Potter and this time you will be expelled!" "No wait!" said Lily "It 's okay, he didn't rape me."

"Oh really? Then Friday detentions for both of you then! Skipping class to make out!"


	3. Chapter 3

DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters… If I did I wouldn't have to eat instant noodles… Wait… If I did own Harry Potter I'd just eat more!

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Authors note: I'm sorry about the 2nd chapter… I thought it was awful….  
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Chapter 3

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"WHAT!?!?!?!" screamed Lily

"That means that my record will be blemished!" said James imitating Lily.

"Well you should have thought about that before you started to date James Potter!" cackled Filch. (Filch had gotten confused by James' imitation and thought it was Lily.)

"ME? DATE HIM?" Lily threw a finger at James.

"What's wrong with that?" inquired James angrily

But just as Lily was about to answer another voice joined in the conversation.

"Well, well, I thought I'd never see the day eh, Filch?" came a deep cheerful voice.

Lily looks up to see a man resembling a walrus. SLUGHORN!

"Indeed Slughorn, James and Lily. Once this gets out there will be thousands of stories about them" sneered Filch.

"Though I heard Lily screaming at a Friday detention… Isn't that a bit harsh?"

For once in her life Lily was happy to be in the Slug Club.

"I mean they're teenagers! I remember when we were teens we had bodily urges as well!"

"Yeah! Bodily urges" supported James. He obviously didn't know what "Bodily urges" were. Filch glared at James and Slughorn.

"Well at least I did!" protested Slughorn.

"_Ok… I take that back" _thought Lily. She didn't want to hear about Slughorn's sex life. While this was going on in Lily's mind James' was quiet different. He was thinking of a teenage Slughorn making out with a very attractive girl while Filch was scowling at them.

"What about I'll take them off your hands for you…?" asked Slughorn after a long pause. Filch nodded and shuffled off as wheezy as ever.

"And let you ruin other people's lives" muttered James under his breath.

"Mr Potter you can go now while I have a little chat with Miss Evans" Slughorn winked at Lily. Lily shuddered.

Seeing this as a challenges James (to Lily's disgust) put his arm around Lily's waist and told Slughorn "Professor Slughorn, I suggest you get used to calling Miss Evans Mrs Potter because she'll be mine soon." James' arm slid down to Lily's backside tightened and then released his grip. Before Lily could jinx him James turned on his heel and left.

"He didn't happen to purpose to you in that broom cupboard Mrs Potter did he?" asked Slughorn. Lily was now in half a mind to set Slughorn's moustache on fire and in a full mind to barbeque James and feed him to the giant squid.


	4. Chapter 4

DISCLAIMER: I do own Harry Potter.

[knocking on door sounds J.K Rowling's lawyers enter and pull out a file to sue me. Fuzzi Furuba edits what disclaimer says and lawyers leave

///EDIT/// I do not own Harry Potter

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Chapter 4

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"Is that all you wanted to know Professor Slughorn? I mean if I was marrying Potter." asked Lily.

"Oh, umm… no. Miss Evans you will not be able to attend the next Slug Club meeting as a guest." said Professor Slughorn

"What?" Lily didn't understand. Had this event lead to Lily's docking of the Slug Club? Then again it wasn't a bad thing.

"I mean Mrs Potter that you and your husband will entertain my guests!" Obviously Slughorn had taken James' advice to heart. "I want you both to learn a few spells and charms to entertain my guests. Though please make sure they aren't dangerous."

"Erm.. Why do I have to do this?" asked Lily.

"Because this is your punishment for skipping class." Sighed Slughorn.

Lily's POV

_WHAT!?!?! Slughorn is supposed to let me go and have fun! Not do some ruddy detention. Stupid cow._

"Well unless you'd rather have a scratch on your permanent record…" teased Slughorn.

_Bastard!_

"Anyway! Why couldn't you tell Potter this instead of me having to find him?' I asked

"I have my reasons." boasted Slughorn.

_Reasons my ass. You're probably trying to make Potter jealous._

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Funnily enough around the corner from where Lily and Slughorn were talking James was trying to hear everything. He didn't bother to think reasonably. He just had his mind on if Lily and Slughorn were getting together. (Yes I have a sick twisted mind…)

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Lily and Slughorn finished their conversation and Lily started to walk towards the corner James was listening in from. James quickly ruffled his hair and leaned against the wall as if he was waiting for her. Lily rounded to corner and as soon as she saw James pulled out her wand and hexed him to high heaven. Literally.

"LEVICORPUS!!!" screamed Lily!

"What the hell is wrong with you!" yelled James.

"EXURO!" screeched Lily

"OMG WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!?!" James had been set on fire.

"I'm going to feed you to the Giant Squid" cackled Lily

James thought Lily was at the height of madness. At least she looked it. Her red hair was sending off sparks, there was an evil grimace etched into her face and her green eyes were glowing… IN A BAD WAY!

James had to fight back or else he would be dead soon. Even if he did have to jinx Lily.

"CONGELO!!" shouted James.

Lily hovered to the ceiling, turned blue and froze. James stared at her for awhile because he knew he wouldn't get to do this for a long time and then muttered the counter-curse.

Lily unfroze and kissed him. Well not really. James while staring had positioned himself below her so he could get a peek up her skirt. He stupidly forgot to move and Lily fell on top of him and their lips touched. Having Lily sprawled on top of him made James feel like he just scored and savoured the feeling until Lily realised that James had jinxed her. Though the reaction was not how he had thought it to be. She just got up, told him about their punishment and strode off. Well that's what James thought she did. Though for the few minutes Lily had been lying on James she had put a permanent message on his back. It read "I'm a pervert so shag me."


End file.
